Saturday, 31 December 2011

New Man Wanted!

I cannot believe that we are nearly at the end of 2011 and what a year it has been.  All in all it has been a fairly good year and I'm please with all that I have achieved.  There has been the inevitable ups and downs.  December has probably been the biggest low but there is an end in sight and things are hopefully not as bad as they first seemed.  As with anything, life is what you make and if you are constantly looking for the bad in your life then that is all you will get.

So, what are my hopes for 2012.  Haha the list is endless.  I want to complete my first novel,  actually, I have to start it first, so maybe start my first novel would be a better target.  I want to win the lottery, yeah, I have as much chance as flying to the moon, oh a maybe a new love interest would be nice! erm, actually not sure on that one.  I am quite happily single, but who knows what or who is around the corner or where I will be this time next year.  Laid on a beach on a desert island would be great. Ideally with a tall, handsome man with a body to die for waiting on me hand and foot, obvioulsy wearing as little as possible hahaha.  A girl can dream!

I don't make new years resolutions because I can't stick to them.  There is the usual I need to lose weight and eat healthier, but there are still to many chocolates in my house and to throw them away would be sacrilege.  I have instead compiled a to do list of all the things I want to achieve and hopefully as the year progresses I will tick them off one by one.

That's all for 2011.  I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year and all the best for 2012.  See you next year!

Thursday, 29 December 2011

Christmas is done!

I'm all Christmassed out now. I love Christmas but, I can't help sounding like my dad now, once it's done, it's done.  All I want now is to get back to normal.  I want my living room to look like a living room and not like some outlet for Toys R Us / Santa's grotto.

I have de-tinseled the room and relegated numerous toys to the bedrooms.  The tree is the last man standing and that can stay for just a few more days.  As for the rest it's packed away until next year. 

We all have an idea of Christmas, probably brainwashed into us off the TV, of a perfect family Christmas, everyone together getting along.  Visions of mums, dads and kids all playing games  and having fun.. Yeah right.  I think the reality is so different.

I haven't had time to play games.  I have been too busy trying to eject toys from their packaging.  Why oh why do they have to use so much packaging on a simple doll.  She was held in with plastic ties wraps.  Then her hair was actually stitched  into the box and there was near on 100 little elastic bands holding everything in place. The just of the time was spent inserting batteries, sticking on stickers and following the clear as mud instructions on how to put the toys together.  You need a degree to work some of that lot out.  By the time you have finished the kids are bored of waiting and have moved onto another toy and are not longer interested.  Arghhh.

Then there is the constant arguing.  The kids are fighting over the toys or fighting over what to watch on TV.  They are bored.  BORED!!!  They have so many new toys that they don't know what to play with.  All my kids have done is whinged and twittered.

Perfect family Christmas, more like Christmas nightmares...

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

To Kindle or not to Kindle

I have been considering for a while now whether or not to buy myself a Kindle.  I just couldn't imagine reading from a screen and getting the same feeling that you get from reading a book.  I love books.  I always have.  I love the feel, the look and the smell of them My prized possession is my bookcase displaying a small selection of my favourite books.  As a book lover there is no better feeling that getting comfy and opening that new paperback or much loved favourite and reading that first page.  But I have taken the plunge and here it is...

I excitedly opened the box and there was my new gadget.  Carefully removing he packaging I have to admit that I actually do like the feel of this.  I doesn' compare to the book as there is no weight to it, but it does feel nice in your hand.  It has a soft cover not at all what I was expecting.  I thought it would feel very plasticy.  One point scored.

I switched it on and had a little play and yes it's a screen but it does appear to be easy on eye and it's doesn't have the harsh glare like so many items.  I have to admit that so far I am very impressed.  There is now a world of new books that I can access any time of the day or night and at prices that I can afford.

As soon as I finish my current book, which I currently am unable to put down, I will be trying out a new book on the Kindle.  That will be the telling point.  I will keep you posted over the coming weeks how the Kindle has compared to the traditional paper and ink.

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

I'm back!

It's been two weeks since my last post and this is only my fourth for the whole of December.  There just hasn't been enough hours in my day.  I'm sure I have passed myself going backwards on numerous occasions.   What with illnesses and more illnesses, sorting Christmas as well as the day to day tasks, I have not had a minute to myself.  But, things are starting to improve and I'm back now.

We have been plagued by illness this month.  Firstly a cold swept the house and everyone felt pretty ropey with sore throats, sniffs and sneezes and just as we got over that the 24 hour diarrhoea and vomiting bug hit us all.  I lost one nights sleep nursing Charlie and then the night that we had tickets for the pantomime Faye started, closely followed by me, so that was yet another nights sleep lost.  Two nights in a week istough going.  Thankfully, we are all now recovered and germ free.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas, we did.  Once the mountain of presents has been ripped open I set to and cooked the dinner.  I have cooked the dinner before but, only for me and now ex-hubby, never for guests so the stakes were high.  I'm proud to say I pulled it off.  The plates were almost licked clean so it must have been good.  It was no easy task cooking a dinner with two hyper kids constantly wanting my attention, but I did it and stayed relatively stress free.  Well, kind of...

My house is now trashed and I keep scratching my head and wondering where on earth I am going to put all the new toys.  It is currently like an assault course to cross the living room and if you want to watch the TV you have to sit in specific seats or the view is blocked.  Still, these things will get sorted all in good time.

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Unconditonal Love!

I witnessed love in it's purest, most innocent, unconditional form yesterday.  It had everyone close by in tears but it's really does bring home what is most important in life.

It's been a while since my last post and it's been a difficult and emotional few weeks.  I haven't felt able to share my thoughts and feelings on here as they are to raw and my writing has been purely for personal benefits.  I won't go to far into it all but my dad has been ill in hospital and yesterday he was finally allowed home.

My 6 year old daughter, who sees her grandad almost every day, has missed him terribly.  So, when we took her round yesterday to visit and she found to her amazement Grandad sat in his favourite chair,  She flew across the room, threw her arms around his neck, kissed him, stroked him, looked at him and kissed him some more.  With her arms wrapped around his neck was where she stayed for the whole half hour visit.  The only noise was the occasional little giggle that she couldn't hold in.

When it was time to leave her eyes just welled up with tears.  With that she broke down and sobbed for almost an hour.  I have never ever seen her so upset.  She physically could not stop.  Everytime she got herself under control she would just start all over again.  The tears just rolled down her little cheeks and at points she was crying so hard she could barely breath.  When I managed to calm her down and get an ounce of sense out of her she said "But, mummy.  I just don't know why I am crying.  I have just missed him just so, so, so much and I love him" I can only imagine what has been going through her mind. Despite all the reassurances we have given and the phone calls she has made to him.  She needed to see him in the flesh. I tried to explain that what she was feeling was relief.  Relief that finally he was home.  Back where he belongs.

"Mummy" she asked a bit later on, "When Father Christmas brings me some presents I'm not going to open any until my Grandad is here because do you know I love him so much that I am going to wait and he can help me."

Needless to say on the visit today she was struck to him like super-glue.

Monday, 5 December 2011

Anyone want to fight?

I am so angry at the minute.  I have never felt anger like it.  It is like a volcano in my stomach, I can feel the heat bubbling away and any time now, just one more little thing I am gonna explode, probably on an epic scale.  The type of which I have never done before.  i just can't get rid of this awful feeling.  I really want to scream, shout and ...

I'm angry at processes that have let things escalate to the extent that they have.  Some things should never be left without full investigation and yet here we are having to go through hell and back, when there was no need for it to go this far.

I'm angry at people, who don't listen.  People that are paid to listen and have a job to do that they have failed in.  People crawling out of the woodwork doing things they have been asked not to do.  Taking it upon themselves to get involved and stick their noses in where they are not wanted. I have let that one go today, for now.  But I certainly won't next time around.

I'm angry at solicitors and my ex.  Who after 18 months of being separated had finally decided to get a solicitor and is now demanding more access to the children.  Children that he walked out on.  Children that he so far has picked and chosen when he sees them, when he has no better plans  He has now decided that they need stability and routine. He is being portrayed as father of the year Yeah, well dream on.  I provide all the stability and routine my children will ever need.  I have all the evidence I need to fight to the death if that what it takes.  While I agree that a child needs it's father when your six year old can't sleep because she is worried that she will have to stay with daddy it says it all.  Well over my dead body...

I'm not usually an angry person, that is what is making this worse.  I take what life has to throw at me and I take it on the chin, dust myself down and get on with it.  I have been knocked for six today. It has come from all angles.  The start to my week has been fairly crap to say the least but tomorrow is another day.



Sunday, 4 December 2011

What a goddam awful week.  I am going to go to bed tonight, close the page and see tomorrow as a new start.  A new week.  Things certainly cannot get much worse and going forward I can see some big changes and tough times ahead.

On the positive, It makes you realise what is really and truly important in life.  The things most important to me are family, friends and laughter.  With these magic ingredients you can battle anything. 

In the midst of the chaos this week I have found that I am actually more organised than normal with regards Christmas.  My tree and decorations are all up and the kids presents have all been wrapped and sent to Santa.  There is not much left for me to do but sit back, put my feet and up (Yeah, I wish) and laugh at all the last minute shoppers battling he crowds.  I have one last dreaded task to undertake and that is the writing of the Christmas cards.